Fatma just told me that this guy that I met yesterday wants to sit and talk with me some more. Sounds sorta normal, right?
YEAH. NOT HERE.
I'm really afraid she's taking on the mother match-making role, trying to find me a good husband. She asked me what my opinion was of him, and I was like, I don't know him? And then she asked if I would be ok with sitting and talking to him. How can I say no? It's one of her family friend's sons and there's nothing outwardly not okay with it, but I know that that's how spouse hunting starts here. So I said maybe, but I'm busy.
I just want to come home again.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
A Thoughtful Reflection on Egyptian Culture...
i.e., I no longer will maintain the cultural relativity, my butt stance. At least for the duration of this entry.
before you continue reading, look at this picture: http://virb.com/458278556709923/photos/1314926/fullsize
Full credit to whoever put that up, smile, or something? Go you.
So now, if you have looked at that picture, please continue reading. Otherwise, you will just be confused.
So, just as a brief background, I found this picture while stumbling around the internet. This was shortly after my friend's friend's mom (unsuccessfully) tried to convert me to Islam, so I was pretty much like, yeah! Go the west! Open affection, open minds! We rock!
And then, as per usual, whenever I think anything that isn't loaded with all sorts of subtleties, I later changed, altered, and rearranged that thought. And it led me to make all sorts of observations about this culture, myself, and the west. Which you will now have the great privilege of reading.
The first thing I realized is that this picture is really really hypocritical. It's trying to depict the West as open-minded and the East as a closed place that discourages affection between men and women. Well, if the west is open-minded, it's a pretty big leap to make to think that this picture can accurately summarize relationships between men and women in the Middle East, or even just in Egypt. (I really do think these might be Egyptians. The man just looks, really, really Egyptian, like his clothes and everything. And the woman too.) And also, the west certainly has its share of marital problems, with a divorce rate of what, 50% or something. (I should write about the divorce procedure in Egypt. I actually think America has a lot to learn from how they do it here.) And this particular couple might just not be particularly affectionate, that's pretty normal in the culture here. It's really rare for couples to be openly affectionate in public here too, one of our teachers actually said that if a husband respects his wife, he won't be too affectionate with her in public because it's sort of disrespectful and will make her look disreputable. And actually, on this point, I saw a couple pretty much like the one in this picture, the man wearing the religious beard, and the woman a niqab, and they were like locking arms, and they were pretty old, and it was sooooo cute. So yes. Basically, if the West were such an open place, we wouldn't assume that wearing these sort of clothes and acting like this couple is doesn't mean that they aren't loving or are really close minded.
Also, the white couple just kinda bugged me. Like, how long will they be able to keep up that sort of affection? Sorry, that's just me being my cynical crabby old lady self. HOWEVER, this is relevant, because you find Egyptian couples doing the Egyptian equivalent of the white couple thing here, and it just bugs the crap out of me. Because the girls are always hijabed and you know, your model good Muslim girl, and then she's like out holding hands and being all pouty and flirty with her fiancee (who she could and probably will leave at any point). And you never see girls without hijabs doing this kind of stuff in public, because they can't get away with it. If they tried, everyone would just be like, you hair exposing whore, tempting our good muslim boys! Whereas, if you wear a hijab, go right ahead and tempt 'em. (let me add that the percentage of girls who engage in this sort of behavior is very small, but very visible. and that I'm not against the behavior, but the hypocrisy behind it. yeah). What was the point? I forgot. I'm sorry. Oh, that the white couple behavior doesn't mean they're any more loving. Just that they're more obvious and physical.
Which brings me to my next point. While there are all sorts of terrible men and terrible husbands here (and they are enabled by the culture since women are, in most circumstances, more or less powerless to them, or at the least, subservient to them, thus giving them the chance to be as tyrannical as they want), those who are good, really really respect women. As weird as that might sound. And also, I admire the fact that they take their faith so seriously, and really hold to it. As long as they don't try to convert me to it.
Well, that's all for now. Potentially more observations to be added at a later time.
Peace out, yo.
: ) E.
before you continue reading, look at this picture: http://virb.com/458278556709923/photos/1314926/fullsize
Full credit to whoever put that up, smile, or something? Go you.
So now, if you have looked at that picture, please continue reading. Otherwise, you will just be confused.
So, just as a brief background, I found this picture while stumbling around the internet. This was shortly after my friend's friend's mom (unsuccessfully) tried to convert me to Islam, so I was pretty much like, yeah! Go the west! Open affection, open minds! We rock!
And then, as per usual, whenever I think anything that isn't loaded with all sorts of subtleties, I later changed, altered, and rearranged that thought. And it led me to make all sorts of observations about this culture, myself, and the west. Which you will now have the great privilege of reading.
The first thing I realized is that this picture is really really hypocritical. It's trying to depict the West as open-minded and the East as a closed place that discourages affection between men and women. Well, if the west is open-minded, it's a pretty big leap to make to think that this picture can accurately summarize relationships between men and women in the Middle East, or even just in Egypt. (I really do think these might be Egyptians. The man just looks, really, really Egyptian, like his clothes and everything. And the woman too.) And also, the west certainly has its share of marital problems, with a divorce rate of what, 50% or something. (I should write about the divorce procedure in Egypt. I actually think America has a lot to learn from how they do it here.) And this particular couple might just not be particularly affectionate, that's pretty normal in the culture here. It's really rare for couples to be openly affectionate in public here too, one of our teachers actually said that if a husband respects his wife, he won't be too affectionate with her in public because it's sort of disrespectful and will make her look disreputable. And actually, on this point, I saw a couple pretty much like the one in this picture, the man wearing the religious beard, and the woman a niqab, and they were like locking arms, and they were pretty old, and it was sooooo cute. So yes. Basically, if the West were such an open place, we wouldn't assume that wearing these sort of clothes and acting like this couple is doesn't mean that they aren't loving or are really close minded.
Also, the white couple just kinda bugged me. Like, how long will they be able to keep up that sort of affection? Sorry, that's just me being my cynical crabby old lady self. HOWEVER, this is relevant, because you find Egyptian couples doing the Egyptian equivalent of the white couple thing here, and it just bugs the crap out of me. Because the girls are always hijabed and you know, your model good Muslim girl, and then she's like out holding hands and being all pouty and flirty with her fiancee (who she could and probably will leave at any point). And you never see girls without hijabs doing this kind of stuff in public, because they can't get away with it. If they tried, everyone would just be like, you hair exposing whore, tempting our good muslim boys! Whereas, if you wear a hijab, go right ahead and tempt 'em. (let me add that the percentage of girls who engage in this sort of behavior is very small, but very visible. and that I'm not against the behavior, but the hypocrisy behind it. yeah). What was the point? I forgot. I'm sorry. Oh, that the white couple behavior doesn't mean they're any more loving. Just that they're more obvious and physical.
Which brings me to my next point. While there are all sorts of terrible men and terrible husbands here (and they are enabled by the culture since women are, in most circumstances, more or less powerless to them, or at the least, subservient to them, thus giving them the chance to be as tyrannical as they want), those who are good, really really respect women. As weird as that might sound. And also, I admire the fact that they take their faith so seriously, and really hold to it. As long as they don't try to convert me to it.
Well, that's all for now. Potentially more observations to be added at a later time.
Peace out, yo.
: ) E.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
I want to go home
Yep. That's just it. I want to go home.
I had a whole series of weird interactions with my friend who lives in the country and her family, the least weird being the mother of one of her friends telling me that I should rethink the fact that I was a Christian and the the Bible isn't a true book, that it's been changed. While of course, the Koran is the one true book, and she shouldn't change her religion. Then, of course, they couldn't understand why for the life of them I was upset. I even started crying, because they just wouldn't drop it and I was SO MAD. What gives them the right to tell me my religion is false? I would never rip into one of them and tell them that the way that Islam is practiced in Egypt basically imprisons girls and then makes them think they're being protected (even though I would totally think and then write in my blog...). And the worst part was that my friend went along with it too. I just want to go home where others basically respect my beliefs. Or not even that. Just leave me alone to do as I want. And also, I can't explain to them why I think saying this kind of stuff to me is wrong. They don't have the like, cultural basis, to understand it.
But yeah. Generally speaking, if anyone in America treated me that way, we wouldn't be friends anymore. End of discussion. But like, they're still so nice to me that I don't want to cut off the friendship. Also, they're really good at making me feel guilty for not coming to see them enough and I fall for it every time. Damn you, my conscience. Damn you!
And like. I like it when my friends are ok with me leaving, and don't make me feel bad because I have to do something else, and can't be with them ALL THE TIME. And also, I NEVER EVER EVER EVER GET ANY TIME ALONE OUT THERE (in the country). Which I sort of understand, like, I'm a guest, and it would be a bit rude to leave me alone, but I'm that way. I need some time alone. Or at the very least, time when I don't have to focus on arabic all the time. Actually, that's sort of a theme of my life here. I wish so badly I could buy a soda and just go chill next to the sea after school some day, but I can't, because that is primo harassment territory. Compare that to Middlebury (or even Barre), where when I had something I really couldn't figure out, I would go for a walk alone, as late as ten at night. Without being covered from ankle to neck. God. It's these tiny differences, the ones that I was so good at glossing over just a few weeks ago, that are finally getting to me.
At the very least, it's just a month til I'll be home. And I'm sure I'll miss it here by that point.
blurgh.
I had a whole series of weird interactions with my friend who lives in the country and her family, the least weird being the mother of one of her friends telling me that I should rethink the fact that I was a Christian and the the Bible isn't a true book, that it's been changed. While of course, the Koran is the one true book, and she shouldn't change her religion. Then, of course, they couldn't understand why for the life of them I was upset. I even started crying, because they just wouldn't drop it and I was SO MAD. What gives them the right to tell me my religion is false? I would never rip into one of them and tell them that the way that Islam is practiced in Egypt basically imprisons girls and then makes them think they're being protected (even though I would totally think and then write in my blog...). And the worst part was that my friend went along with it too. I just want to go home where others basically respect my beliefs. Or not even that. Just leave me alone to do as I want. And also, I can't explain to them why I think saying this kind of stuff to me is wrong. They don't have the like, cultural basis, to understand it.
But yeah. Generally speaking, if anyone in America treated me that way, we wouldn't be friends anymore. End of discussion. But like, they're still so nice to me that I don't want to cut off the friendship. Also, they're really good at making me feel guilty for not coming to see them enough and I fall for it every time. Damn you, my conscience. Damn you!
And like. I like it when my friends are ok with me leaving, and don't make me feel bad because I have to do something else, and can't be with them ALL THE TIME. And also, I NEVER EVER EVER EVER GET ANY TIME ALONE OUT THERE (in the country). Which I sort of understand, like, I'm a guest, and it would be a bit rude to leave me alone, but I'm that way. I need some time alone. Or at the very least, time when I don't have to focus on arabic all the time. Actually, that's sort of a theme of my life here. I wish so badly I could buy a soda and just go chill next to the sea after school some day, but I can't, because that is primo harassment territory. Compare that to Middlebury (or even Barre), where when I had something I really couldn't figure out, I would go for a walk alone, as late as ten at night. Without being covered from ankle to neck. God. It's these tiny differences, the ones that I was so good at glossing over just a few weeks ago, that are finally getting to me.
At the very least, it's just a month til I'll be home. And I'm sure I'll miss it here by that point.
blurgh.
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